Sunday, 2 December 2018

Almost 50..I Fear That I Will Be Alone For The Rest Of My Life

Greetings To You All

I read your blog everyday. I feel like you are that friend I could talk to. My name is Zara John (Not real name) and I am 48 years old. I am a Teacher and I am smart,beautiful and a Christian.
 
Jzhane,since I was born up to this day,no man has ever asked me
out. I have never been in a relationship before. Its as if I am invincible to men.

I have been on a dating site once . I met a guy online but he just wanted to sleep with me which I did not agree to. I feel lonely most times in my life. The only thing that gives e joy is teaching the beautiful children in school.

The Children call me Ms. Zara and I see them like my own children but I actually wish they are truly mine. I feel like I have missed so much in life.

I do not let people know how I feel inside. People think I am used to it by now. But as I near the age 50,I am getting scared more and more.

Also Read: I Tried To Ruin His Life But He Texted Me To Say: He Wants Me

My upbringing may have a lot to do with my situation. I grew up in very strict religious background and for most of my adult life,I was thought I was going to be a reverend sister. But I backed out just before I got into convent.

I tried to make friends but men only see me like a sister. I had a crush on a guy in school back then but I could never tell him. Today he is married with kids.

My mother has been to several prayer houses for my situation.Some have told her that I am not destined to marry but to serve God as a single woman but I do crave being with a man and having my own family. Last year,I met a man who showed interest in me.

I thought this was my miracle that I had been waiting for.It turned out that the man was a married man who only wanted my money.



I was heartbroken. I am still heart broken. Is it really true that it is God’s will for me to be unmarried? If so,can God help me and give me the peace and courage to accept my fate? If not,when will God answer my prayer and give me my own husband?

Ms. Zara,

Ibadan

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